A few years ago, I was onstage and asked to describe my marriage. My response was, “imperfect.” After, someone quickly approached me and inquired why I would admit to something like that. I sat there for a moment and went on to explain my thoughts on those who live in glass houses – which we all know shatter. My marriage isn’t perfect. My life isn’t perfect. And I am perfectly okay with that. Perfectly Imperfect.
We don’t learn by pursuing some disillusioned idea of perfection. We learn by accepting our imperfection and realizing there is beauty in all the things that make us less than perfect.
But, sometimes it seems we live in a world where there are missed opportunities to connect because we are too busy chasing perfection, afraid to just own the fact that our lives are anything but.
Some of the people I hold nearest and dearest to my heart are held in such esteem because of the simple fact that we are real with one another – we celebrate imperfection and we say it exactly how it is.
So, let’s get real this week and talk about it. I’ll start.
I suck at filtering and can’t sugar-coat anything to save my life. While my intention isn’t to offend anyone, it has happened. I have an opinion (be it right or wrong) and am vocal about sharing it. The intent behind it is always good and usually coupled with humour, but not everyone is keen to celebrate brutal honesty or hear opinions they don’t agree with. It may not make me a ton of friends, but it has certainly pointed me in the direction of the right ones.
I am my own toughest critic.
When I wake up in the morning, I look more like the crypt keeper as opposed to some fresh-faced beauty who just jumped out of bed ready to conquer the day. Coffee, a shower, and good makeup techniques help me to look human.
Next, we ladies all know what our backsides look like after the age of 35. If you happen to have grown humans at any point on top of age, things get really interesting. Too much sugar, carbs, or alcohol will quickly take up residence and rent out space that was previously reserved for your favorite pair of jeans. I don’t know about you, but mine hasn’t seen the sun since tanning beds in the 90’s. And then there’s the contortionist act in front of the mirror, attempting to investigate if gravity has set in or if an unsightly dimple has appeared. If you have no idea what I am talking about, you are genetically blessed and gravity is still working in your favour.
I haven’t seen my natural hair color in 20 years. I have a “good side” in photos. And, I actually enjoy working out, which is equally balanced with my love of French fries (chips), wine, and candy.
My parenting style is a well-meaning combination of bribery, threats, and talking it out.
And, going back to my original sentiment, my marriage isn’t perfect. We have had our ups and downs and have faced challenges that would end most marriages. But, we have grown as individuals for having gone through these things, even though it hasn’t always been easy. I still have no idea what the future may hold and I have learned to be perfectly okay with that.
So why share all of this? It reminds me that as humans, we are called to support one another – to throw down the stones and remember the common thread that binds us all – we are a collective group of people who are imperfect. All of us.
This week, let’s all get real. Whether it is a physical imperfection, owning a character flaw, or admitting to our own shortcomings in a situation – let’s challenge ourselves to laugh at those things. By being honest about our own imperfections, we stand to create a world that is more authentic, where relationships are genuine and the idea of what is beautiful isn’t wrapped up in some superficial idea that perfection is attainable.
Cheers to a new week and embracing our collective imperfection!!!